'Twilight Is The Jonas Brothers Of Movies'

Twilight is the Jonas Brothers of movies, according to MSNBC. What happens when you remove the sex from both vampires and rock? You get the Twilight movies and the Jonas Brothers. Exhibit B: Not until you’re married. Each of the homeschooled Jonas Brothers has worn a purity ring. Joe said, 'the rings are a promise to ourselves and to God that we’ll stay pure till marriage.'

Their 'pure till marriage' vow follows 'Twilight’s' strategy, fans will have to wait until the fourth movie for some hot hot hot vampire lovin’. Within the bounds of marriage, of course. Exhibit C: Hair: Both Jonas Brothers and vampire Edward Cullen have the most amazing, architecturally unsound hairdos. A little known fact: Edward himself is 86 percent hair product, 14 percent gristle.

Exhibit I: False danger: Both properties sell manufactured attitude, false intimacy and a safe rock ‘n’ roll rebelliousness that could only be marketed by Disney. Comedy Central’s 'South Park' already expertly parodied the Jonas Brothers for selling sex to tweens while marketing a 'pure' family image. All this while singing lyrics like, 'I fell / So fast /Can’t hold myself back / high heels /red dress / all by yourself.' Is anyone else catching Little Red Riding Hood hypocrisy from JB?

Exhibit J: Neutered and non-threatening: The Cullens are vampires, but not the bad kind of vampires. They live in a family structure, send their kids to school and don’t feed on humans. Similarly, the Jonas Brothers are a rock band, but not the bad kind of rock band. They come from a good family of absolutely no threat to you or your daughter’s honor. It’s rock, but completely safe and neutered.

(oceanup.com)